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Sunday, March 29, 2015

A friend told me about my wife’s sexual past – and now I can’t trust her

A man told his wife was once ‘a groupie’ says his marriage is soured. Mariella Frostrup says he should mistrust the friend, not his wife

If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk


The dilemma I am troubled by my wife’s sexual past. I recently found out through a mutual friend who knew her before I met her that my wife had been a “bit of a groupie” and had slept with several men in bands. We have pretty much told each other everything about our lives, and this part of my wife’s life has come as a shock to me, as I had no idea. I knew she liked to see bands play, but didn’t know she had slept with the musicians. A mutual friend joked that she probably spent more time in hotel rooms than in her own bedroom when she was younger. I don’t trust her any more, as this sounds to me like someone else, not my wife. It’s all true, by the way – she did confess to it, but played it down. We have had some bad arguments about it. This has soured what was otherwise a good marriage.


Mariella replies Nice friend you’ve got! But I’ll come to your informant in a moment. This is the second letter I’ve had this week from a lover haunted by their partner’s past. My first was from an 18-year-old dating a man of 28 with an ex-fiancée and two kids back in the gloaming. What was concerning her was how he could have had a second child with the mother of his first, a woman he “had never loved”.


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The toast of Aldi’s wines

Their wines are certainly cheap, but can Aldi’s buyers attract the middle-classes with their selection?


Lot 02 Tasmanian Chardonnay, Australia 2013 (£9.99, Aldi ) Aldi’s bid for vinous respectability, an important part of its campaign to lure still more middle-class shoppers, continues with the launch of the Lot Series, a set of “boutique wines” (their wording, not mine), each the result of a collaboration with a “leading” winemaker. Three of them go on sale this week (a fragrant, silky Argentine Malbec-Cabernet will be on sale in May, and there will be five more later in the year). The savoury oatmeal and crisp apple of the excellent Tasmanian Chardonnay was the pick of the bunch, just ahead of the piercing, incisive Lot 04 Layda Sauvignon Blanc from Chile’s Leyda Valley and the chewy sweet fruit and spice of the Lot 03 Pézenas 2013 southern French red.


Toro Loco Tempranillo, Utiel-Requena, Spain 2014 (£3.79, Aldi ) Good as they are, and while I would be happy to put a bottle of any of them in the trolley the next time I’m scavenging for cheap loo roll and salami, the Lot Series wines wouldn’t on their own be enough to make me plot a trip to Aldi. If I had a tenner to spare, I’d still rather go to an indie or an Oddbins where they have an infinitely wider range at that price. What Aldi does have which the indies (and the other supermarkets for that matter) don’t, however, is a bargain basement wine of the quality of Toro Loco Tempranillo, a juicy, berry-fruited red that is astonishingly good considering tax and other costs leave only a few pence for the wine itself.


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Hays posted a job you might be interested in



Hays



Mobile Lender

Adelaide Area, Australia, AU - Banking


  • Mobile Lender

  • High performance culture

  • Uncapped earning potential




This lending franchise specialises in residential lending, due to significant growth within the business are seeking a high performing individual to join their team.



To be successful in this position you will demonstrate your ability be a brand ambassador for the business with your key focus is to grow the home lending portfolio, while sourcing new business through networking and referral partners and active business development. It is essential to build strong lasting relationships and have great interpersonal skills, and a strong home lending background. This role will require the ability to work autonomously, be driven and motivated with a proven knowledge of the Adelaide market and referral network.



In order to succeed in this role our client is looking for someone that can consistently meet and has a solid track record in exceeding mortgage sales targets. In return, you will be rewarded with a competitive remuneration package and ongoing career pathways. This is a rare and exciting opportunity to be part of a leading team. To join a company with a great culture and apply for this role click APPLY now or contact Michelle De Palma on 08 8410 8533 or email michelle.depalma@hays.com.au






No salary provided



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Hays



Relationship Manager-Corporate Banking

Adelaide Area, Australia, AU - Banking


  • Relationship Manager-Corporate Banking

  • Experienced team

  • Excellent team culture




A major financial institution is seeking high performing individuals to join their high performing team.We are currently recruiting a Relationship Manager, who will be responsible for developing, managing, growing and the retention of an existing portfolio of reputable corporate clients. With a progressive culture and an abundance of career opportunities for high performers, this is your chance to become a key contributor to the continued growth and success of the division.



As an experienced Relationship Manager, the key to your success in this role will require the ability to continuously develop and execute effective strategies while providing innovative solutions to our clients by ensuring the delivery of a customer centric approach and displaying the Banks core values. With a strong technical ability, you will apply your commercial judgment for the evaluation of credit submissions, while managing the appropriate risk exposure for the Bank. The ability to evaluate loan structures, security, identify any potential risks, assessments of financial analysis, while delivering a strong credit culture and credit approval. Essential to the role is the ability to engage with internal and external stakeholders of the business, you will have an established referrals and business networks, with a strong focus on growing the portfolio by prospecting, networking and building excellent long standing relationships by understanding your customer's needs and delivering exceptional client satisfaction.



In order to be considered for this role you require a strong background in relationship management/ business development within a commercial lending environment, with strong skills in bringing in new to bank business. You will be highly motivated to achieve and exceeding financial objectives and profitable growth. This is an opportunity to build your own personal brand within the bank, be rewarded with many benefits, including world class technology, discounts on a range of financial products, a corporate wardrobe and a wealth of career opportunities.To apply for any of these position click APPLY NOW or for a confidential career discussion contact Michelle De Palma on 08 8410 8533 or email michelle.depalma@hays.com.au






No salary provided



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The Purple Revolution: The Year That Changed Everything review – self-pitying Nigel Farage

Nigel Farage’s memoir reveals a small-minded man living in a bubble of self-aggrandisement


Being a racist is like being a snob. You are always on patrol; always noticing differences others ignore. Nigel Farage’s enemies accuse him of being obsessed with race. I assumed Farage would use this campaign autobiography to refute them. Instead he obsesses for England.


He tells the standard inspirational story of triumph over adversity, physical as well as political. Farage recalls how cancer left him with a Hitlerian deficiency, when it took away one of his testicles. The NHS misdiagnosed his condition and allowed one testicle – the left, he tells us – to become “as large as a lemon and rock hard”. I am not sure I needed to know that. But three decades after the event Farage still wants the reader to know that the blundering physician was “an Indian doctor”. When he calls on a neurosurgeon, Farage again feels the need to dwell on his physician’s immigration status. This time he tells us he was treated by “an Indian migrant who grew up in Slough”, although Farage does not mind over-much because the doctor turned out to be “incredibly pro-British”.


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Woman, 2 Year Old Killed, Man Injured in Washington Shooting

A 29-year-old woman and a 2-year-old boy were fatally shot early Saturday, and a third shooting victim was suffering from life-threatening injuries, sheriff's deputies in Washington state said.





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Pavia – Shenzhen 4:I think what I need here is a surviving guide

View image | gettyimages.com I think what I need here is a surviving guide I have had the chance to...





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Pavia – Shenzhen 4:I think what I need here is a surviving guide

View image | gettyimages.com I think what I need here is a surviving guide I have had the chance to...





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Residents in Eastern Ukraine City Rally Against Separatism

The participants from Dnepropetrovsk had hoped to help mend a rift between President Petro O. Poroshenko and the regional governor he fired and to ease worries that Ukraine is also now at risk of unraveling into privately ruled fiefs.





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News Analysis: Fragile Cease-Fire in Ukraine Inspires Little Confidence in West

Western diplomats and analysts are predicting a further escalation of tensions, possibly including the placement of Russian nuclear weapons in the annexed Crimean Peninsula.





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Kentucky 68, Notre Dame 66: Kentucky Survives Notre Dame to Advance to Final Four

The Wildcats trailed well into the second half, but ultimately managed to take the lead and keep it, advancing to the national semifinals, where they will play Wisconsin.

















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Indiana May Clarify Religious Objections Law

Gov. Mike Pence said he would support legislation to “clarify the intent” of a new state law that has attracted widespread criticism over concerns that it could allow discrimination against gay people.

















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Tribes See Name on Oregon Maps as Being Out of Bounds

Several place names in eastern Oregon include the word “squaw,” which Native Americans say is offensive. An effort to change the names has been long and difficult.





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Hays posted a job you might be interested in



Hays



APS5 Recruitment Team Lead

Canberra Area, Australia, AU - Government Administration, Government Relations, Human Resources


  • Andrew Marshall (02) 6112 7650

  • Temp or perm transfers available

  • 3 to 6 month contract




Due to internal movement, the need has arisen for an APS5 Recruitment Team Lead who will assist the organisation in processing recruitment actions.



Using your previous experience within a government recruitment environment, you will manage and provide guidance to the recruitment team on various recruitment projects, including volume processes for both non-ongoing and labour hire applicants.



Leading a team of two APS4 Recruitment Officers, and reporting to the APS6 Recruitment Manager, you will have a thorough understanding of the legislation governing recruitment in the APS, experience in using eRecruit systems, and the ability to provide high level of advice to senior managers. Experience with the current Interim Arrangements and demonstrated experience using redeployment registers will be highly regarded.



Given the nature of the organisation, you must be an Australian Citizen and a current Baseline clearance or higher will be highly regarded. Permanent or temporary transfers for existing staff will also be considered.



For a confidential consultation please contact directly.



Andrew Marshall MAHRI - Section Manager

Hays - Recruiting Experts in Human Resources

P: 02 61127650

E: Andrew.marshall@hays.com.au






No salary provided



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Cricket World Cup 2015 final: Australia v New Zealand – live!

Australia to Join Regional Development Bank Led by China

The decision to join the bank is an about-face for the nation, which had earlier agreed with the Obama administration’s requests to stay aloof from the bank.

















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Charles Dickens' desk and chair saved for the nation

Furniture used by author while he wrote Great Expectations and The Mystery of Edwin Drood bought with grant from National Heritage Memorial Fund


The desk where Charles Dickens wrote Great Expectations and his final unfinished novel, The Mystery of Edwin Drood, has been saved for the nation.


The Charles Dickens Museum in London has been given a grant of more than £780,000 by the National Heritage Memorial Fund (NHMF) to buy the desk and chair which he used in his final home, Gad’s Hill Place in Kent.


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Martha Lane Fox: tech champion who wants us all to embrace the net

She rose to fame in the dotcom boom. But now, as she prepares to give this year’s Dimbleby lecture, she is set on persuading us that the web is as much about citizenship as shopping

These days, it’s a rare week that passes without the publication of some or other report warning of the dangers of the internet: whether it be the threat of terrorism, government surveillance or the mind-altering menace of online addiction. But Martha Lane Fox or, as she’s known in SW1, Baroness Lane-Fox of Soho (hyphens are strictly enforced at the House of Lords) has a very different message to convey.


Tomorrow evening on BBC1 she gives the Richard Dimbleby Lecture in which she will argue that more people should be using the internet more often. For several years now the co-founder of the karaoke chain Lucky Voice has been singing the same song.


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